signing of for a week!

Well friends, our project trip is finally here, and it is currently 7:39PM meaning we leave for the Pader district in Northern Uganda in approx. 10 hours from now at 6am my time (10PM your time) and i won't be able to update you guys till i get back, but i'm sure it's going to be quite an update after seeing the IDP camps. So please pray for safety, that our team would work well, that we'd make time for the Lord and ministry even when we feel deadline driven. And most of all to have our hearts broken for these people and for hte Lord. Really taht we could see people as God sees them, as his children whom he loves!

So signing off till June 30th, so if you read this before then please pray for me and my team!


So much love it hurts!


Yeshua

venting and ranting

Yesterday I decided that I really needed a taste of what town was all about. I mean i've been into town several times before, but each time i had a destination and wasn't really in an exploring mood. Not to mention I was always with another person. So i had my first experience with walking around downtown Kampala with no direction whatsoever by myself, and i wanted to talk about what I saw and thought about...

I guess I wish i could fully convey exactly what it is like for a white person in this country. Like...I mean this gives me great insight a small bit of what a black person might feel in a heavily white area. Everyone acts nice, as per the culture. You have no idea how many times a day I hear the words, "muzungu how are you?" Sometimes, just like in the states, i'm not good, and i dont like lying or having to talk about how i feel with every random stranger on the street. And i'm a public spetacle for sure, beacause i look so different from everyone else here. So I get stares, i get stares wherever I go, and the two ways to get people to stop staring at you are to, a) wave, or b) say, "hello, how are you?" Yesterday i was thinking alot about that and how the novelty definitely wears off being the center of attention anywhere you go.

Also, I'm realizing what a novelty "muzungu" used to be and how it begins to feel derogatory. Especially when i'm just walking along, and you can say anythign with a biting tone, as is truwe with muzungu. Like when i'll pass someone and i'll hear muzungu yelled at me when they are already past me. Or if I am walking through a crowded area and i hear muzungu and i turn and i know someone was talking about me. And I suppose this is me careing too much about other people. Like I understand alot of people here do not understand what all the white people, and all the NGO's (non-govt-orgs) are doing here. Cuz by the way there are so incredibly many aid organizations christian and not, and I feel like alot of people here have alot of resentment behind their friendliness. As mentioned earlier you can feel it with the biting, "MUZUNGU!" left and right (kona ne dyo).

Ok now to stop complaining about myself and start complaining about things here. I wish i could convey to you the number of street vendors here. I mean literally every street, every street corner (at least in the areas closer to the taxi park) are completely covered with people, with their wares laid out on cardboard, tarps, blankets, whatever works, tables, etc. I guess i want to paint you guys this picture so you can begin to feel for them. I mean, they have alot of stuff, most of it literal crap, that nobody wants, no foreigner, no local, nobody really wants it at all! And yet they have to stay seated, laid down, standing, whatever next to their stuff for i would guess more than 12 hours a day, just in case someone happens upon their stand instead of someone elses and happens to wants something that they have for sale so they can make money to eat that day. That is their life! They sit and do nothing, and they dont have days off, i'm not sure where they get this stuff. [Side note: this has happened twice, where someone has pulled me aside and tried to sell me panties, not really sure if he actually expected me to buy anything] I dunno, i wa thinking about life for them yesterday and it struck me how awful theirs must be. Some of us hate our jobs back home, but what if you didnt have a job and you were forced to sell, mosquito nets, cell phone covers, underwear, etc on the street because you knew a supplier and you had zero other options?

Yesterday I walked past an old man next to his cardboard box of stuff and all i wanted to do was to hug him and tell him there was more than this! That God loved him so passionately and that He wants so much more for Him, but i didnt, because it is so seemingly hopeless, and because in this culture peopel don't talk about private things, about their inner feelings etc.

My other rant about the mundane-ness of life here: Boda-boda drivers. Enter the life of a boda driver, once you manage to get a boda, not really sure how that works, how anyone here has the capital to do so, since they cost about1,000,000 shillings or about 500 dollars. But once you get that far, you need turf. Good luck getting it if you dont have any friends there. There are Boda stages, and of course there is conflict and fighting over who gets what stage, since some stages bring more money, some are already too crowded to make any money. And now you sit there all day, on your boda, waiting for someone who walks by to give them a ride for anywhere from 1000 to 3000 shillings or 50 cents to $1.50. Some days they dont get hired at all, but nevertheless they are out there everyday. Garaunteed if you look at them EVER, they will put their hand up and ask you if you want a ride and you have to say no because likely you are walking. Yesterday as i was walking i was solicited for a ride probably 30 times. Almost every street corner that i gave eye contact to one immediately i was offered a ride. And i guess i have no room to complain about them asking me for a ride, but imagine their lives, they need to be the first one to ask a passerby for a ride so they can garauntee they get to give the ride and not anyone else at their stage. But most of hte day they sit, and do nothing.

I'm sure alot of you have heard how hard it is for a black guy in new york to pick up a taxi, or some of you know personally. The thing that pisses me off here, is that it is easier for a white person to get a boda to pick them up than a black person. And maybe it's because they know if we are here we have money. But still that sucks, i mean it's the same thing, except i am the minority and yet i'm still privelidged for some reason.

That leads me to my last point today, in the past week about three peopel have attempted to rip me off, simply because i am white. And while each time it was over a very small amount of money, after awhile it gets old. After awhile I just wish I didn't get screwed over becuase of my race. Like peopel giving me wrong change on purpose, or telling me one price, when i know that's not the price. I mean again it's not much money, but i think if you were to charge someone more money in the states because of their race there would be a public outcry.

All that to say, that the Lord is sovereign over the people here, over their lives.
"Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage." Ecclesiastes 5:18

This I pray for my sake:
"...Give me neither poverty nor riches --
Feed me with the food allotted to me;
Lest I be full and deny You,
And say, "Who is the Lord?"
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God."
Proverbs 31:8-9




When you get away from Kampala road the city is surprisingly calm and beautiful, it almost reminds me of home, hard to believe life is so hard here for so many people...



...Pray for me this while i am here, "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me -- the task of testifying to the Gospel of God's grace." Acts 20:24....cuz it's easty to get a little tired

the weekend...an adventure? kind of

Hello,

So the weekend, was good for the most part. The plan on saturday was to go to Mabira Forest somewhere on Jinja road between Kampala and Jinja (East of Kampala). So we got on a taxi headed for Jinja and told them we wanted to get off at Mabira, and of course they said "ok". Well as we keep seeing signs saying we are getting closer and closer to Jinja we start to wonder if they've passed it up. So we get the conductor's attention and realize we're about a mile on the other side of where we are going. We get out, and do the completely normal Ugandan thing, which is pee on the side of the road with lots of cars going by, haha.
We pick up a taxi going the other way and tell him we want to go to Mabira and he tells us it's 1000 shillings which is a completley ludicrous price for such a short distance but i think none of us felt like arguing and we all gave in. This taxi though was already completely full, so by the time we got in it was ridiculously packed. So apparently this guy thought that what we meant by Mabira forest, was a sign that says mabira forest with an arrow on it and 3.5 kilometres underneath, which we didnt realize till we got off the taxi and paid.

At that point we gave up and just walked the rest of the way there to blow off some steam, at least in my case.

The whole way there on the taxi and during our walk i was listening to some sermons by N.T. Wright, who is supposedly the foremost scholar on the new testament. Since I've been here Alan has introduced me to the novel thought, which isn't really so novel at all, to look at the gospels and the rest of the bible for that matter in context. Like, understanding jewish culture and the way it was then and applying it as such, then the exegesis occurs when we take that whole applicatoin and compare it to our lives now, not just take the letters that Paul wrote and directly apply them as if they were written to us, although there is alot of valid stuff in doing that. When you know more about the culture surrounding the letters and gospels and such, you see that for example Jesus parables have alot more depth than one woudl think and it makes alot of things make alot more sense, and thus can lead to alot of controversial thoughts, but i'm not that far yet into it, but the whole thing is called hermeneutics and it's fascinating to say the least.

That was a side note, but finally we got to Mabira and hired some bikes and rode the worst bikes on one of the least maintained bike trails i've ever been on. Yet it was still a good deal of fun. I think it at least will hold me over till i get back and can ride my bike on some Austin trails before i head back to school in the fall. Or maybe it just whet my appetite and now i absolutely can't wait for that when i return.
The trail took us through a village at the end, and it's always a spectacle for kids especially in more rural areas here when muzungu's come through (especially when they are zooming by on bicycles!). Eventually after taking the bikes back and paid we ended up taking a wrong turn and walked through the main road of this small community and you wouldn't believe how excited all these children were to see us. All wanting to hold our hands, and of course saying the only thing they know in english, "Hi muzungu how are you?" and answering themselves before we get a chance to answer, "I am fine!" It was awesome though, as is typcal there were even naked kids following us too, or abaana abareere (naked children), HA I am learning words!
So we had our first experience with I guess this culture's very unobtrusive begging. And we learned that when someone starts following us and talking to us and trying to show us around we need to say, "We don't need a guide, thank you," because this man started trying to teach us the names of things that we didnt need, all we needed was some time to look around to find bananas and water for lunch, but eventually he just said, "what about me" and Mark gave him 500 shillings so we could run away and get on a taxi. People never come right out and say what they want, or if they do, they wait a very long time after making alot of conversation, as if the reason they came to talk to you in the first place was really an afterthought, in a way it's cool because this culture is more friendly, but appealing to my american nature, it can be annoying at times because we live in a very fast paced, what do you want kind of world.

On the friendly side of the culture though if i was to refer to my entire extended family as a local here, i would say that i have lots of mothers and fathers and brotehrs and sisters, grandmas and grandfathers (or Jaja's). Cousins are sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles are mothers and fathers, etc. Whereas friends of the family or just older people are your auntie and your uncle. And that carries over into reality too, like if you are a woman (omukazi) and your sister died, then you are responsible for her children as well as your own. One of the ladies that works at our house has two children of her own, and three of her sisters.

Oh, I have not yet mentioned the whole DVD copyright, mess they have here, well not mess i guess, I'll even call it amazing. There are tons of stores, streetside vendors, hawkers, etc that sell compilations of lots of different movies. On saturday night i bought a dvd with all four harry potters, charlie and the chocalate factory and some other movie ive never heard of for 10,000 shillings (6 dollars), as well as an adam sandler 6 movie compilation for the same price. I am not really sure how all of you feel about that, but it is what it is here and i'm going to take advantage (however poor the quality of the movies actually are).

So Mark and i went to the dvd shop and just to walk through Kansanga, Kabalagala and Muyenga as a change of pace, and man i'm going to be in amazing shape when i get back from walking so much! But he stays at my house and we really click alot, he reminds me alot of Jspence personality wise which is definitely a compliment for either of the two i think. So we walked around alot and ended up at the international hotel to see Ghana destroy Czechoslovakia in their match (naturally all people here cheer for all the African teams before any other team, and it's just really exciting here because all the people are so into it!). On that note forgot to mention Alan (whose personality reminds me of Andy Marks--again compliment to both) accompanied me to Heritage international school where we played soccer with Steven (our day guard and beast of a man), Paddy, and Kizito, as well as some other guys. I guess needless to say abadugavu (black people) have more stamina than abazungu (white people) do, or at the very least these guys are in much better shape than we are as far as aerobics are concerned. As was made evident on the football pitch, but it was fun nevertheless.

Sunday morning we attended Ggaba Community churhc again and they ahd a guest speaker it didnt really like much, but the worship was good as ever. Afterwards I had my first experience with Ethiopian Food, man five guys ate for three dollars a piece and couldn't finish the food we had, and eating with your hands is always fun. It was actually really surprisingly good. I never knew that an Ethiopian looked so much different than say any other African, but you can really see the Arab influence on their facial structure and skin color.

Last night we watched the Brazil/Australia game and watched Australia get the tar beaten out of them at the house that our friend Henry is house-sitting for, ironically an apparently ridiculously rich Aussie family with a three tiered front yard/pool table/satelite tv/inverter so they can watch tv with no power, and an amazing view of lake victoria from the balcony upstairs. <---All of which is completely ludicrous for a missionary family, but i won't say much more about that. We had some pizza and just chilled.

I also met a guy whom Henry had been hosting thta had been living on Langira island, an island just 2 hours south of Jinja with no power, no running water, completely primitive doing some medical stuff, that we had heard about before and really wanted to visit one weekend, and so now we have access to the contacts so that we can do so!

Ahhh, I'm so excited i'm finally really leving this city, we go to Kitgum, or close to there on friday morning!! get excited!!

By the way, for those of you that read this, you can feel free to leave comments, it's ok if i dont know you, i'd love to get some comments

Amanda: thank you so much for that message, you have no idea how much that brightened my day when i read it this morning. I do agree, we need to have somthing more meaningful than a 2 second conversation and so we can call ourselves better than facebook friends, so we shall work on that in the fall. Just invite me to hang out with you guys again i love all your friends, tell kieth and mateo i think they are freakin tight!

Dad: Sorry i didnt get a chance to email you yesterday, but i'm going to do so today, Happy Father's day at any rate, i hope you had a good weekend and some well deserved rest from work!!

Much love to everyone!!!

here are some random pics...





This is us sleeping the day we got to Uganda














This is me and the dog that lives at our house Benny and i'm pretending to hit him with a panga... I dunno i thought it was funny















And lastly, i figured jspence, wes, andy, jared, kristin and amber would probably enjoy this one the most... note my facial expression. But hey can you blame us? muzungu's get sunburns easily!








Cafe is closing, ill get back to you guys soon!!

week 3 or is it 4?

Hello there friends!!

This week has been rather uneventful, but that's been a good thing and in that comes embedded a prayer request! All week i've been skimming through hydraulics and water resources textbooks learning as much as i can about the stuff to help me on tabitha, since my job will be water resources. So on Tuesday i was complaining to steve about not doing any engineering work and he hit me right on the head basically when he said, "There will be plenty of engineering work for the rest of your life, you're in Africa, get outside these walls and do something!" Man, that's what i need God's help with now, a vision. I need Him to show me what i'm supposed to be doing here at all. I mean all my thoughts leading up to this trip was, sweet Uganda, it's gonna be awesome. Nevery did i put much thought into what else i was going to do while i was here.

So please that's what i need, some direction, I was talking to Mark last night about eMi and really we exist to help other ministries do their work, but we dont really have a ministry in ourselves. So it's like a mission organization w/o any guidelines or structure which makes it a lot tougher, but probably better since I have alot of freedom and leeway to do what the Lord wants me to. But therein lies the problem, if I have a lot of choices, or in this case infinite choices it makes it easy to do nothing since the possibilities are so vast, so pray that god would show me, or that he'd open and close doors as he sees fit, because i really want to leave an impact here on someone, not for my sake, but for His, and i can only do it with His help!

Aside from that I was going for a walk yesterday and when i went outside Kizito and a group of guys were playing football and so i went and grabbed some shorts and played with them. You definitely get made fun of alot being a muzungu, or at least i think i do. I heard the word muzungu every five seconds, and haha i probably think i'm funnier than you guys will, someone on the other team was trying to trick me by saying muzungu to get me to pass it to them, so i said, "omusajja omuweru" which is another way to say white man, and i thought it was hilarious, and so did the whole group of guys.

Also I asked mark to take some pictures of the match and i think the lighting was bad so he took a few videos instead, and for whatever reason i played horribly yesterday and he managed to get a video of every time i screwed up (thanks Mark!), so you guys back home can look forward to seeing those and laughing at me if i get the time together to make a slideshow or something.

So i've definitely realized how isolated we are in this building and it's kind of sad, I can wake up walk to work, work all day, eat dinner, then walk home and go to sleep, And it's lame! I've realized how much i need to get outside these walls every day, so hopefuly i'll be making a point to do so for the rest of the summer.

The office has been relatively quiet lately with people coming and going. Steve, Alan and Erica went to sarotye over the weekend and got back monday night and James and Josh left for Sudan this Monday and won't be back till Friday.

Today at the office will be a day of prayer, and a needed break from reading textbooks! So lots of singing songs and praying and talking and goodness, O He is good!

Check out Isaiah 35 or Ezekiel 47, good chapters about what we have to look forward to!

Here's what I got to wake up to this morning:

today was so good

I finally found a church that I love, that speaks to everything I want in a church and i'm sure more. The only reason we even went to it is because we knew the pastor because we took a trip to an orphanage that is owned by the church that past eMi people designed so we could get a look at the end result. And a girl named Jessica who is leaving the country whom we met two days ago wanted to go see it since her church back home will be visiting in and helping there in July, and she's been coresponding via email with the pastor.

So anyways, we attended the service so we could talk to the pastor, and my goodness it was amazing!! Dancing, Shouting, Clapping, Jumping, Praising the king!!! The peopel there were so excited and that's what i've been missing from back home in the other churches i've been to. This will definitely be the most charismatic church i've ever attended, and i'm very excited about that and what God will show me. But to start the service sweaty because i'm so excited about God is absoultely amazing and I was fed today in an amazing way!

It's called Ggaba Community Church (pronounced gaba) and is about a 300 shilling (20 cent) taxi ride from my house!

God has been opening my eyes to future possibilities while i've been here like never before. I mean i've been pretty content with not having a clue what is going to happen after my undergrad, which is two school years away, but i'm seeing maybe grad school is a possibility? maybe work force to get experience to come back here with valuable knowledge to do what i'm doing now for a two year commitment, maybe travel america, or the world for that matter, meet people, learn cultures, I dont nkow, i mean i guess this sounds really random but i've felt like my eyes have been opened a bit and i'm just really excited for everything the Lord has in store for my future!

I wish I could sit down with each of you guys and talk to you about all the things swimming in my head, from my complaints about the government, to the hurt, to my complaints about americans in general, to my complaints about christians in general, to the beauty of this place, all the little things i can't remember now but i'll remember later im sure, all over and back again!

We serve an amazing God and i urge you to pursue Him daily in His word, and in prayer, trust me, it will change you, and He's worth the daily devotion, heck He's worth the secondly devotion so i encourage you my friends to give Him every bit of you, every choice, every second.

Don't you love it when you find yourself praying things and have no idea where they came from and you realize that God put that prayer in your mouth/head and that it's exactly what He wanted you to say to Him? This morning i was praying just a quick prayer over breakfast and the day and i found myself saying to Him, "Lord I cannot wait to see what you are going to show me today," and man, he showed me alot. But I feel like that's a great way to start your day, or at least for us to be more child like in our approaches to Him. To approach His plans/wisdom/beauty with a sense of childlike awe, like a baby that just stares at things because they've never seen them before, or they can't remember when they did and they are absolutely enthralled. Four of us were on a taxi today (which by the way had 20 people in it) and there was a baby in a womans lap next to us and she and i just stared at each other for a long time, and I feel like that's a perfect example of when Christ said, "the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

So seek him as children!! Learn to quit being so darn grown up about your approach to him, i feel like that just makes it to religion-ish and less spirituality-ish and too self-righteousness-ish and not enough jesus-ish.

Love you momma, call me anytime, you're gonna have to work hard to use up that 50 dollar card on me!! and for those of you that have not texted me/called me/whatever, I have a cell phone here and you can feel free too!! I mean calling is expensive but i garauntee texting won't be more than twice or three times as much as texting back home, so please do so cuz i'd love it! (just let me know who you are since i dont have your numbers saved)

Andy why haven't you responded to my email yet? i want to know what's going on

Same goes to you Jspence I miss your silly little face

Dad, you can get international phone cards online at rates of like 15 cents a minute and if you'd like to call me you can call me at (this goes for everyone for calling/texting)

PHONE NUMBRO: 011-256-774-067-523

ok goodbye kiddos, talk to you soon!

Hey there kids,

I want wow, this morning i had the first sweet quiet time with the Lord in awhile, and man it was good. For whatever reason i was led to 1John and man he spoke directly to my heart through that.

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God." 1John 4:1-2

"For whatever is born of God [those in Christ] overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" 1John 5:4-5

"And this is the testimony: that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. These thigns I have written to you that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God." 1John 5:11-13

We are saved!! we are born of God and therefore, our faith (which is given to us by him) overcomes the world, i.e. "Greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world"

And the time was even sweeter, what a wonderful way to start the day with him!!
ok we are leaving now so i will post more later

God bless my loves, I am praying for you, continue to rock it hard for God!

satan is bad and god is good

So guys, i really need your prayers and i think all of our office needs your prayers against the enemy's attacks lately. Well let me go one step further and say that Christ said "take heart for I have conquered the world." meaning that we have authority over satan and all power of darkness and so when you pray please say something to the effect of, "in the name of christ i cast satan from their office and from their lives" this is key, he said anything we ask in his name he will give us, so please pray that in his name. But the reasoning i guess is i've been in a horrible mood for two days in a row, i'm good now, but wasn't earlier today.

I guess it's just the thoughts i've had in my head or the words i've wanted to say have been so negative and thankfully i've held my tongue, but i hate that feeling of just wanting to find something wrong with everything that's going on, and to blame people around you for any little thing. So that's me, and add to that two of our staff members have been a little sick lately, and one of the staff members is in a play and has been going to practices alot and has been getting i dont know how little sleep and satan has been really attacking him as well, but we can always use more christ.

As i guess our own little pet project a friend of our office (who is a muzungu as well) introduced us to a lady called Evelyn. We walked from a gas station in Kansanga (which is a suburb or kampala near the house we live at) and saw the major flooding problem they experience there. Basically this little bitty creek bed majorly overflows everytime it rains, because it's the only pathway for the water to get to the swamp further down"stream". It's quite a project, since everytime it floods the water gets about two feet up on the houses nearby. We hav eno idea what this will require, but we will probably need to come ount when it rains to at least see how big th problem really is. Although this sounds like an amazing chance to really get involved in the community around us rather than just help lots of neighbouring ministries

ummm...

Hey there friends,

I will admit today and yesterday were trying and tiring, and i've not had a good attitude all day long. You know when you know what you should be doing and yet choose not to for whatever reason? well today i just felt like crap from about noon on and really didnt want to chagne that feeling...

...Nevertheless I want yall to know what's going on


(by the way, i get made fun of every time i say "yall", and I even use it when speaking with locals, and as of yet i think they figure out what i'm saying cuz none of them have asked me to clarify



well before i get serious, check out how nice the beard is coming in....or not
















We spent all day yesterday surveying for the Music for life thing i talked about in my last entry. I enjoyed it alot, and picked it up pretty well. The goal was that Mark, Alan and I woudl be able to survey all of Tabitha project by ourselves, and i'm pretty confident we can do that with the knowledge we have. It was actually fun too, to get to meet the people we are serving and do something a little more tangible than computer work.

So we get back and find that someone has broken into the house that three of us are staying at. Which definitely put a damper on a good day. Although all taht was stolen from me was a pair of shoes. I guess it was just a downer to have someone do that to you, especially since they'd have to have know we weren't there, meaning they've been watchign us. It's also a downer that we are here to help people in this country and all this person sees when they look at muzungu's is $$. I mean we are, like the poorest american is still rich here. So the fact that someone broke in and came into the house was worse than actually getting things stolen.

The owner of the house (Chad Gamble) is our director and went back to the US on furlough last friday, and he lost a laptop, a dvd player, and a stereo during the theft add to that he had malaria when he left and he was flying into california and probalby very tired when he found out about it. So he needs some encouragement and prayer more than we do since he lost more.

Add to the scary factor theft is taken so serioiusly here that if someone breaks into your house they are most likely willing to kill rather than get caught and go to prison forever. But not to worry mom, they are hiring a day guard to work at our house for the rest of the summer and he's the brother in law of the day guard here at the office, and i think we'd trust our day guard with anything, even children. So i'll be safe.

So i guess....obviously on my heart is to pray for peopel so desperate they feel they have to take from people to get what they need, whether it's this guy or someone else...i dont know...




Today we went out to survey again and got some done and were about to set up our third control point (by the way i discovered how much fun being rod man is), and it started sprinkling so we got all the equipment and left the tripod so we coudl set up quickly when it passed. We sat in the car for a bit and it got worse so i volunteered to go get teh tripod. We were about 30 feet from the tripod and it took me about 20 second to get there and back and i was completely drenched head to toe. Don't really know the point of this story, and i guess you guys can sense the stale tone of this whole post which is likely stemming from the mood i'm in.


Oh well it's about 830 PM and i'm gonna go home now and go to sleep, I promise to get back to you soon with something better than this one.



Wes and Amby---i'll email you soon!!


much love from africa!!

what i'm doing

I first want to apologize for the fact that i've not been able to post any pictures, but we are on basically a dial up connection at the office and it woudl take way too long to get one up, but I will soon. It's actually kind of cool, since there are no real land lines here, our dial up modem is actually a cell phone basically, but for whatever reason is still just as slow as a normal dial up connection.



But the real reason for this post, i figured you guys woudl like to know what we are actualyl doing here, and i guess this summer's actual project...well here goes.

Originally we were going to design a campus with fundraising packet and a full set of phase 1 construction drawings for "The African Children's Choir" and the project was called "Music For Life". Sadly that has been moved back to the fall since our team is so small this summer, it kinda sucks cuz that sounded like an awesome ministry to be working with. Basically the choir finds tons of kids all over Africa who can sing that are typically in horrible living situations. They go on year long tours aroudn the world and when they come back they are basically "westernized" and have a hard time melding back into the culture here. So that project was to build a campus and dorms for the kids so they coudl get schooling here, and be slowly reintroduced to the culture and the way of life back home.

But since they moved that project to the fall, they moved up a project that was slated for the fall to about two weeks from now. It is called "the Tabitha project", and is on a site somewhere outsided of Kitgum, Uganda. Kitgum is northeast of Gulu (the city where all the invisible children are), and we will be staying in an IDP camp for the week that we will be there. Sadly Uganda takes an even worse turn than those of you who have seen the invisible children video would think. Not only has the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) completely screwed up the situation for the kids up north, but the IDP (internally displaced person) camps are places guarded by the government's army full of people that have been displaced as a result of the LRA's movements for the last 20 years.

insert rant here:

The sad thing about the situation here in Uganda, and in Darfur, and insert any horrible crisis situation in this part of the world that has been going on for a very long time, is that the western governments will never do anything about it. The reason is economics. There is no western money in this area, and therefore all this chaos here doesn't affect the US economy or anyone elses for that matter. And sadly since the economy isn't affected in any way by the mess here, no one in a position of power can justify fixing the situation over here.

end of rant.

But check this out.
"For Zion's sake I will not hold my peace, and for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest, Until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a lamp that burns." Isaiah 62:1

So basically, the governments won't and can't do anything about this, but i serve a God that can, and this is further encouragement for that part of the Lord's prayer that gets neglected alot "thy kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven"...Praying for his kingdom to come to earth, that he woudl change this. Only He has the power, and i think it will be impossible for me to return to the US and not pray for something to happen over here.


Back to the point though. The Tabitha project is basically a vocational home for widows up north. To teach them to sew, farm, etc. to give them real marketable skills that will allow them to actually make money since there is absolutely no opportunity for them to work with the skills they have or dont have now. We will be surveying about 23 acres of farmland, and designing the compound where the women will recieve and education and get valuable training for real tangible things. Also this is kinda cool although we're not completely filled in on the details. They want to develop some sort of "credit" system so that when the women graduate they can apply the credits they've earned for various things to things like a sewing machine so they can go out with capital to actually have a business rather than nothing.




Well the work day is starting now, and so i leave you with that...

But God is big, God is massively big. I mean i'm more than 8000 miles away from the States and God is here ministering to my heart, to the hearts of his children here, and to your hearts there. And somehow he knows what we all need, and he provides

We serve an amazing God...

oh man internet sucks here...but i have other things to talk about besides that

hey there people whom i love!

It is friday afternoon and today has been pretty lax. I've been a bit frustrated since I don't have much work to do yet (like i think i talked about yesterday) but i'll get over it i'm sure.

Last night I had the first nightmare i've had in awhile. I woke up at 522am from it and wrote about it in my journal and i honestly was scared to put it on paper. and perhaps like all dreams they seem less intense or significant about 10 hours later, but I do know that it was a spiritual attack and i've never felt such intense hatred as i did right before i woke up.

So here goes. I was for some reason in the car with a man who was my principal, although i don't have a school principal for whatever reason taht made sense to me in the dream, as typically things do that dont make any sense once you wake up and get a chance to think about them.

So the principal drove me to some house, not really sure where and we were talking, and he convinced me that there is something wrong with me, with the way i am or something. Mostly it had to do with the way I can act at times. As alot of you are aware I tend to be very outgoing, and sometimes downright loud and obnoxious. and i discussed this with the guys here that while being outgoing and having the right words to say and being gifted in speaking is a good thing, it can also come across as a bad thing, and i sometimes lack any tact whatsoever with the things i say. And sometimes I can come across as downright childish, and as my friend Chris Hill has pointed out, I am much more spiritually mature than most people know. and i see taht because i put up this front that i am a funny outgoing guy, and will say whatever i can to be the center of attention and to make people laugh even if it's at my expense.

Anyways, the point of all that is that I know where I am weak, and the things i need to work on, and the "principal" served to discourage me to the point of tears in my dream, i mean he made me really sad, i've never thought about emotions in a dream, but it definitely happened last night. So he convinced me there was something wrong with me and that he wanted to fix me and he had a cure. I protested alot because i didnt want to believe something was wrong with me, so even though discouraged i still knew that that i was created this way for a reason.

One last time i told him i wasn't sure about a cure, and he pulled out three syringes and horrified i said, "you're not going to give me those yoruself are you?" And he tackled me and i was seemingly paralyzed while he stabbed the first syringe into my right chest, and proceeded to pump the plunger on the syringe over and over again. I remember not knowing what to do other than to look on horrified as my breathing became more labored and quick. Oddly though it didn't hurt, but i was shocked to be sure.

So at this point i feel completely defeated, that the person i once was has been changed forever and there is nothing i can do to be me again, i am now whatever he wants me to be. and he raises the other two syringes and drives them into my right cheek and my left forehead. Again all i can do is be completely shocked as to what is going on, and feeling completely hopeless as to what i am supposed to do. He proceeded to pump the syringe in my cheek to make sure everythign got into me from it. and then he stopped and let me get up thinking everything is over.

I turned my head to the right and saw a man with a paper bag over his face handing a gun to me. And I heard the "principal" say, "now kill yourself." I woke up immediately after but not before i first felt more hopeless and lost and hated than i've ever felt in my life.

I witnessed two aspects of satan last night. His attempts to disguise himself (as a wolf in sheeps clothing) and to sweet talk us, convince us of things that are completely counter to the teaching of God (he is an accuser and a liar), and then his completely intense hatred he has for children of god, and for that matter all humans.

I wrote last night as i've been writing in my journal how dry i've felt lately, and how much i've needed the Lord. Well my barbed wire cut turned out to be worse than i thought. Im no doctor, but i think it might have even been deep and wide enough to have required a few stitches. But the point is i woke up around 3 or so to go to the bathroom and it hurt, but it wasn't until i got back into bed that it got bad. The pain went almost all the way through my foot, as if the barb broke off in my foot and it went almost all the way through. It was awful and i was worrying about every possible thing, what if it did break off, what if there was some crazy african bacteria or virus on it and i'll have to get my foot amputated, what if i have to have surgery while im here, etc etc.

So i finally stop, and put my hand on my foot, and begin to pray for healing. And amazingly almost all the pain is gone right now (5pm my time). That is the lord healing if i've ever seen it. I really believe that it was bad and that there was something that coudl have harmed me more, but that the Lord did heal me and honestly i dont even feel like i need a tetanus shot, because i'm trusting him in this that he did heal me!!





How encouraging to be attacked by Satan because I am here according to the will of god, and that God actually healed me. This morning I woke up feeling closer to him than in a long while, He is so good. And every friday morning we do some worship time/whatever/sharing time, and i volunteered to play guitar and lead it, Well it ended up as just songs the whole time, and i love leading worship cuz i get all sweaty, and regardless of my attitude at the beginning He changes my heart. and so he did this morning...

"In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first tusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory."

Ephesians 1:11-14

the past few days

I have been writing in my journal several times during the trip that I really need God to break down some sort of wall in my heart. It's seemed harder from about the beginning of may or so and on to dive deep into him. And i've been asking him to change it, although something is there that inhibits my ability to ask him wholeheartedly to change me though so it seems like a catch 22. But i know he hears me, and he has a plan in this, i'm just missing the closeness i've had with him before. Could yall pray for that for me cuz i need it here and now. I need to "gird up my loins" as it were, and prepare for some battle here.

This week i've been tasked with helping to finish up a project report. And i've been doing layout stuff, meaning i've learned how to do some amazing things with photoshop. I've been a little discouraged, since i really have very little autocad knowledge, but i know i'll learn eventually. But for those of you taht know me you know I like to understand what is going on if at all possible. Everythign is slower here though on every level you could think of, so everything that has been planned has been pushed back or moved or something.





Tonight after work a group of kids, and two locals that are our friends (Kizito and Paddy) were playing some football (soccer), and Alan and I went out to join them. For whatever reason here people surround grassy areas with barbed wire, and i definitely cut my foot twice on barbed wire...i think i'm up on my tetanus shots, but just to be sure i'll be looking into get another one. It was good to be active today moreso than just walking two miles to work and back.

I'll update more soon

I miss you momma


Love you all,

Josh