oh man internet sucks here...but i have other things to talk about besides that
hey there people whom i love!
It is friday afternoon and today has been pretty lax. I've been a bit frustrated since I don't have much work to do yet (like i think i talked about yesterday) but i'll get over it i'm sure.
Last night I had the first nightmare i've had in awhile. I woke up at 522am from it and wrote about it in my journal and i honestly was scared to put it on paper. and perhaps like all dreams they seem less intense or significant about 10 hours later, but I do know that it was a spiritual attack and i've never felt such intense hatred as i did right before i woke up.
So here goes. I was for some reason in the car with a man who was my principal, although i don't have a school principal for whatever reason taht made sense to me in the dream, as typically things do that dont make any sense once you wake up and get a chance to think about them.
So the principal drove me to some house, not really sure where and we were talking, and he convinced me that there is something wrong with me, with the way i am or something. Mostly it had to do with the way I can act at times. As alot of you are aware I tend to be very outgoing, and sometimes downright loud and obnoxious. and i discussed this with the guys here that while being outgoing and having the right words to say and being gifted in speaking is a good thing, it can also come across as a bad thing, and i sometimes lack any tact whatsoever with the things i say. And sometimes I can come across as downright childish, and as my friend Chris Hill has pointed out, I am much more spiritually mature than most people know. and i see taht because i put up this front that i am a funny outgoing guy, and will say whatever i can to be the center of attention and to make people laugh even if it's at my expense.
Anyways, the point of all that is that I know where I am weak, and the things i need to work on, and the "principal" served to discourage me to the point of tears in my dream, i mean he made me really sad, i've never thought about emotions in a dream, but it definitely happened last night. So he convinced me there was something wrong with me and that he wanted to fix me and he had a cure. I protested alot because i didnt want to believe something was wrong with me, so even though discouraged i still knew that that i was created this way for a reason.
One last time i told him i wasn't sure about a cure, and he pulled out three syringes and horrified i said, "you're not going to give me those yoruself are you?" And he tackled me and i was seemingly paralyzed while he stabbed the first syringe into my right chest, and proceeded to pump the plunger on the syringe over and over again. I remember not knowing what to do other than to look on horrified as my breathing became more labored and quick. Oddly though it didn't hurt, but i was shocked to be sure.
So at this point i feel completely defeated, that the person i once was has been changed forever and there is nothing i can do to be me again, i am now whatever he wants me to be. and he raises the other two syringes and drives them into my right cheek and my left forehead. Again all i can do is be completely shocked as to what is going on, and feeling completely hopeless as to what i am supposed to do. He proceeded to pump the syringe in my cheek to make sure everythign got into me from it. and then he stopped and let me get up thinking everything is over.
I turned my head to the right and saw a man with a paper bag over his face handing a gun to me. And I heard the "principal" say, "now kill yourself." I woke up immediately after but not before i first felt more hopeless and lost and hated than i've ever felt in my life.
I witnessed two aspects of satan last night. His attempts to disguise himself (as a wolf in sheeps clothing) and to sweet talk us, convince us of things that are completely counter to the teaching of God (he is an accuser and a liar), and then his completely intense hatred he has for children of god, and for that matter all humans.
I wrote last night as i've been writing in my journal how dry i've felt lately, and how much i've needed the Lord. Well my barbed wire cut turned out to be worse than i thought. Im no doctor, but i think it might have even been deep and wide enough to have required a few stitches. But the point is i woke up around 3 or so to go to the bathroom and it hurt, but it wasn't until i got back into bed that it got bad. The pain went almost all the way through my foot, as if the barb broke off in my foot and it went almost all the way through. It was awful and i was worrying about every possible thing, what if it did break off, what if there was some crazy african bacteria or virus on it and i'll have to get my foot amputated, what if i have to have surgery while im here, etc etc.
So i finally stop, and put my hand on my foot, and begin to pray for healing. And amazingly almost all the pain is gone right now (5pm my time). That is the lord healing if i've ever seen it. I really believe that it was bad and that there was something that coudl have harmed me more, but that the Lord did heal me and honestly i dont even feel like i need a tetanus shot, because i'm trusting him in this that he did heal me!!
How encouraging to be attacked by Satan because I am here according to the will of god, and that God actually healed me. This morning I woke up feeling closer to him than in a long while, He is so good. And every friday morning we do some worship time/whatever/sharing time, and i volunteered to play guitar and lead it, Well it ended up as just songs the whole time, and i love leading worship cuz i get all sweaty, and regardless of my attitude at the beginning He changes my heart. and so he did this morning...
"In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first tusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory."
Ephesians 1:11-14
It is friday afternoon and today has been pretty lax. I've been a bit frustrated since I don't have much work to do yet (like i think i talked about yesterday) but i'll get over it i'm sure.
Last night I had the first nightmare i've had in awhile. I woke up at 522am from it and wrote about it in my journal and i honestly was scared to put it on paper. and perhaps like all dreams they seem less intense or significant about 10 hours later, but I do know that it was a spiritual attack and i've never felt such intense hatred as i did right before i woke up.
So here goes. I was for some reason in the car with a man who was my principal, although i don't have a school principal for whatever reason taht made sense to me in the dream, as typically things do that dont make any sense once you wake up and get a chance to think about them.
So the principal drove me to some house, not really sure where and we were talking, and he convinced me that there is something wrong with me, with the way i am or something. Mostly it had to do with the way I can act at times. As alot of you are aware I tend to be very outgoing, and sometimes downright loud and obnoxious. and i discussed this with the guys here that while being outgoing and having the right words to say and being gifted in speaking is a good thing, it can also come across as a bad thing, and i sometimes lack any tact whatsoever with the things i say. And sometimes I can come across as downright childish, and as my friend Chris Hill has pointed out, I am much more spiritually mature than most people know. and i see taht because i put up this front that i am a funny outgoing guy, and will say whatever i can to be the center of attention and to make people laugh even if it's at my expense.
Anyways, the point of all that is that I know where I am weak, and the things i need to work on, and the "principal" served to discourage me to the point of tears in my dream, i mean he made me really sad, i've never thought about emotions in a dream, but it definitely happened last night. So he convinced me there was something wrong with me and that he wanted to fix me and he had a cure. I protested alot because i didnt want to believe something was wrong with me, so even though discouraged i still knew that that i was created this way for a reason.
One last time i told him i wasn't sure about a cure, and he pulled out three syringes and horrified i said, "you're not going to give me those yoruself are you?" And he tackled me and i was seemingly paralyzed while he stabbed the first syringe into my right chest, and proceeded to pump the plunger on the syringe over and over again. I remember not knowing what to do other than to look on horrified as my breathing became more labored and quick. Oddly though it didn't hurt, but i was shocked to be sure.
So at this point i feel completely defeated, that the person i once was has been changed forever and there is nothing i can do to be me again, i am now whatever he wants me to be. and he raises the other two syringes and drives them into my right cheek and my left forehead. Again all i can do is be completely shocked as to what is going on, and feeling completely hopeless as to what i am supposed to do. He proceeded to pump the syringe in my cheek to make sure everythign got into me from it. and then he stopped and let me get up thinking everything is over.
I turned my head to the right and saw a man with a paper bag over his face handing a gun to me. And I heard the "principal" say, "now kill yourself." I woke up immediately after but not before i first felt more hopeless and lost and hated than i've ever felt in my life.
I witnessed two aspects of satan last night. His attempts to disguise himself (as a wolf in sheeps clothing) and to sweet talk us, convince us of things that are completely counter to the teaching of God (he is an accuser and a liar), and then his completely intense hatred he has for children of god, and for that matter all humans.
I wrote last night as i've been writing in my journal how dry i've felt lately, and how much i've needed the Lord. Well my barbed wire cut turned out to be worse than i thought. Im no doctor, but i think it might have even been deep and wide enough to have required a few stitches. But the point is i woke up around 3 or so to go to the bathroom and it hurt, but it wasn't until i got back into bed that it got bad. The pain went almost all the way through my foot, as if the barb broke off in my foot and it went almost all the way through. It was awful and i was worrying about every possible thing, what if it did break off, what if there was some crazy african bacteria or virus on it and i'll have to get my foot amputated, what if i have to have surgery while im here, etc etc.
So i finally stop, and put my hand on my foot, and begin to pray for healing. And amazingly almost all the pain is gone right now (5pm my time). That is the lord healing if i've ever seen it. I really believe that it was bad and that there was something that coudl have harmed me more, but that the Lord did heal me and honestly i dont even feel like i need a tetanus shot, because i'm trusting him in this that he did heal me!!
How encouraging to be attacked by Satan because I am here according to the will of god, and that God actually healed me. This morning I woke up feeling closer to him than in a long while, He is so good. And every friday morning we do some worship time/whatever/sharing time, and i volunteered to play guitar and lead it, Well it ended up as just songs the whole time, and i love leading worship cuz i get all sweaty, and regardless of my attitude at the beginning He changes my heart. and so he did this morning...
"In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, that we who first tusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory."
Ephesians 1:11-14
posted by Kercho at 4:17 PM
2 Comments:
glad your foot is okay. i sure wouldn't want us to be in the same boat.
....but i guess it's better to have company in a boat than be in a boat alone. [that was just an analogy to life, not me wishing pain upon your foot. just to clarify.]
speaking of healing feet, mine is! i'm having the final surgery on monday, and after that i'm home free!
it blesses my heart every time i get to come and read about what the Lord is doing over there and how you're learning and growing. what a freaking stud you are josh kercho!
amby pamby lovin' all the way from texas. :)
Josh, this is the first time I have really had a chance to read your blog, and whoa. Through reading that story, I can just sense that God wants to use you in a very unexpected way, and that the enemy definitely doesn't want you there. But the verse that comes to mind is Luke 10:19-"And I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you." Jesus has given you authority over the the enemy, so pick up your sword, march into his territory, and claim it! (I'm pretty sure you have already begun to do that!) I am praying for you Josh!
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