so much ahead of me

I know I promised more thoughts on Rackoko, but my mind is somewhere else since I got back, which i guess makes sense, out of sight out of mind, sort of. I mean I miss those kids, I miss some of the cool things I saw, and i definitely left a piece of my heart there. In all actuality i've thought some on how amazing it woudl be to just go somewhere like that, live in a hut of my own, learn the language and just preach christ day and night, love with all that i am. I mean that's true ministry, not throwing money at people or problems, not another church program or scheduled event to change things (dont get me started on scheduled revivals), true ministry is throwing your life at people, that's what Christ did, and that's what i want to do, although im not sure how that will play out in the end.

here's a journal entry I wrote last night:

Independence day, Wahoo!....

...Ok not really that excited or thrilled about it, but thoughts on my future have definitely resurfaced from several weeks ago. Like tonight at a 4th of july party i was invited to i was talking to /more listening to a British girl talk about what she does w/ the UN and her masters degree program in human rights at Columbia. Anyways lots of international law, foreign aid, international politics, how aid money works - sounds incredibly fascinating and intereesting. To jumpstart living in a third world country, or to get to a place where i can learn alot about how the world works and how nations deal w/ one another, and help me get a leg up in an N.G.O. As far as I know, my life after school will be me helping people, not sure where that will take me again, bu i think and i hope that it will lead me away from teh States completely.

I want to see Africa, and the rest of the world, ultimately i want to love peopel and help change things for people around the world who have never known it could be different than it is now.

So i'm assuming the next few years i have alot of learning and steps to take to lead me to where i will eventually end up.

I know eventually all roads lead to being a missionary of whatever sort whereever i am and whatever i do. But understanding hte way the world works better than i do now woudln't hurt.

I'm excited though, to maybe even more than just opine that engineering isn't where i'll end up for good or even for a short bit, i think i really do want to further my education, further my knowledge on things going on around me so i can be better equipped to serve those in need, maybe i am completely wrong and He has me somewhere else after graduation, we shall see...

...or more like i shall see and He knows...

How exciting? I come to Africa perhaps even to find a completely new direction for my life. I'm just really excited about the horizons that keep getting wider and more open, I love knowing it's already planned, and that He has big things for me, and i love that He has more places to take me before I get there. Everybody knows the addage that it's all about the journey and the getting there and not about where you get, but the journey itself, i'm excited

He is good

BTW I encourage you guys to check out A.W. Tozer's "Pursuit of God" it's really short and a quick read but it's deep and challenging.